just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
