How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
