your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
