He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
