Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
