So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
