I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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