cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
