i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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