Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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