For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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