So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
