U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
