i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
