I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
