Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
