he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
