Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
