Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
