I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
