it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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