god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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