help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
