I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
