Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she looked like the before picture.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
