Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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