I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
