The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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