There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
