"it" just moved
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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