I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
