Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
