I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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