Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
