Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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