his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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