she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love having hate sex.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
