the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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