wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
