You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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