I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
