lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
