My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
