if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
