Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
