Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
