You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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