No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
