Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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