$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize