My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
